when i grow up, i wanna...

do impressions of obscure mel brooks characters.

since sophie's parents are deadbeats and probably won't have enough money to pay for her law schooling, she is pursuing other avenues. impersonations.  i found her yesterday, sitting at the dining room table, coloring while reciting "itsy bitsy spider" in a very spot on nurse diesel voice. (for those of you who don't know who nurse diesel is, go watch high anxiety).  this girl's got talent.

say what?!?

mom:  "sophie, did you push ben's face in the water?"

sophie:  "no.  (awkward pause while i stare at her)  nope."

mom: " are you sure?  he said you did."

sophie:  " no i didn't.  (another awkward pause)  NO!"

mom:  "are you telling me the truth?"

sophie:  " no - i mean YES!  NO MORE TALKING!!!"

(our smart girl is working on her political and lawyering skills... learning to lie and plea the 5th!)

'the jewish-japanese sex and cookbook and how to raise wolves' will make you LOL...

because you've got to love when a bunch of drunks get together for a cause.

playlist.com sucks eggs...

the stoopid playlist.com kept causing errors on my blog.  so i've resorted to bootlegging videos from youtube.  i actually prefer to make you all listen to what i want you to, instead of allowing you being able to pick and choose what you want to click on - like my parents do  (sorry antiblog, i don't think the grand parental units have listened to ANY of the chanson du jours du yours).

but anyway, i've always loved this song.  which is featured in the movie twilight (and which i surprisingly liked, a lot) in the part where the vampires are having a friendly family game of baseball during a thunderstorm.  so without further delay, here is supermassive black hole by muse.  the video may be weird and creepy, but the song is tight.  definitely should be played at maximum volume.

and who knew cedric diggory and edward cullin could sing like this... this is robert pattinson:

a classic battle: sensible vs. indulgent...

i had to choose between a prius or an escalade... but what i really want is a mini cooper! with racing stripes of course.

throw tomatoes at AIG

http://moveon.org/tomato/?id=15777-9929905-3Zu9Eyx&t=4

if i had an iphone, this would be my ringtone...

this one's for you, dad...

Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets

say what?!?

sophie:  where's my chocolate bunny?

dad:  i think mommy ate it.

sophie:  no she didn't.  you're fat.  YOU ate it!

a HEMFI to remember...

once a year (every year) the state of michigan mandates my employer to take 2 hours of my life and bore me to tears.  work calls the event "HEMFI" (don't ask me what it means... i don't think even our CEO knows).  it is always the same required subject matter:  patient rights and privacy, corporate compliance, infection control, reporting abuse, and disaster plans.  with the same old lame corporate training videos (you know, the ones with the cheesy music and bad acting).

i dutifully attend these meetings year after year.  doing everything within my power to avoid appearing disinterested.  listening to our nurse educator drone on, answering all her questions, laughing at all her anecdotes, and bobble-headedly nodding in agreement to her opinions.

surprisingly, this year was different.  the guest lecturer was our new head of environmental services (aka: housekeeping/maintenence). and he chose this video clip to teach us about what NOT to do during a fire: